The fear of failure

Juris, a surgeon, was only three years old when he learned that one must fail in order to learn and to strive for more. However, such philosophizing was not known to him then as he was still too young. He only began to realize it as such when confronted with failure in his personal life and career.

His realization came hazily as his memories of such a tender age were faded by time. What he can remember though, is that he was always striving hard to learn how to bike. His mom and dad bought him a bike too big for his age and so he had difficulty in using the pedals.

Juris practiced his biking skills everyday, sometimes falling because he could not even reach the ground. While his bicycle had a handbrake, he could remember using his feet to stop his bike whenever he feels like it. Finally, his frustration has borne fruit because after weeks of daily practice, he has learned to stroll around the neighborhood with his bike.

Such a simple lesson from a child but every adult can learn so much from it. Our society has placed so much emphasis on success that failure has become a dirty and much-avoided word.

Others rely on positive thinking to keep failure at bay. While it helps, it also lulls a person into believing that nothing can go wrong, thus creating a false sense of security.

Failure may be a bitter pill to swallow but everyone must fail at one time in their lives. However, as Juris' experience has taught us, it is not the fact that you have failed that is important but the manner in which you have accepted and risen from such failure.

A person can either allow himself to be thwarted by failure, or he can use such failure to build up his determination to climb more mountains. What is important is that the experience of failing was not for naught, because the person who failed learned something from the experience.

Those who fear failure should know that most successful people have failed one or more times in their lives. But what made the difference is how they learned from the failure and how they used failure to succeed in life. The real failures are those who fail once and then refuse to try anything ever again for fear that they might fail again.

The fear of failure creates anxiety due to the fear of not knowing and not being certain of what will happen next. Most often, this results in a small problem being blown out of proportion. The more a person thinks about the possibility of failing, the more he will jump to conclusions on the possible scenarios. Unknowingly, his fear of failure has made a small problem bigger and more complicated.

A person who fears failure can become too competitive. It forces him to treat every person and every opportunity as a threat. This takes the joy out of doing something that should have been simple and without pressure. Such a person becomes nervous and anxious. The feeling of being pressured to do more and to exceed what is normal forces a person to be erratic and weary.

Fear of failure is normal. How you deal with it can make the difference. The best thing to do when confronted with fear of failure is to take inspiration from the reliable bamboo tree which bends when confronted with a strong wind, to keep itself from breaking, and to rise again when the wind has stopped.

First, a person must accept that he is not a perfect being, in fact nobody is. A person has a right to err and to fail so you have to give yourself another chance and another day to fight your battle.

Always have a support group to lean on when the going gets rough so that you will not feel alone and rejected. Most successful people rely on their families and friends when they are at their lowest point in their life. Others rely on their dreams of making it to the top.

Whatever you do, do not keep the feeling of bitterness inside you because it will just build up and ruin you. Talk about your fear and your frustration because it is the only way to get it out of your system.

Whoever said that failure is success turned inside out must have experienced failure at one or more times in his life. Or else, how would he have known that failure is just success in disguise?